Steven Wright “The Dead Sea was just sick when I was a kid. George Burns “I can speak Esperanto like a native.” Spike Milligan “My opinion may have changed, but it’s not that I’m right.” Ashley Brilliant “The first time I see a jogger smiling, I think about it.” Joan Rivers “How many people here have telekinesis? Raise my hand.” Emerald Philips “If you’re too open; your head will fall out.

George Carlin

Lawrence Ferlinghetti “If I’m not back in five minutes, wait a little longer.” Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey) “When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.” Rodney Dangerfield “I’ll never forget a face – but in your case I’d be happy to Ivory Coast WhatsApp Number List make an exception.” Groucho Marx “Opera is when a man is stabbed in the back, instead of bleeding, he sings.” Robert Benchley “As a kid,

Funny and Inspirational

my family’s menu had two choices: take it or leave it.” Buddy Hackett “There will be no crisis next week. My schedule is full.” Henry Kissinger “Thank you, 2:30am, you’re always the first sign that tomorrow is going to be bad.” Jimmy Fallon “I grew up with six brothers. This is how I learned to dance: waiting to go to the bathroom.” Bob Hope “I was walking around as if everything was fine,

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